Immediately after birth, newborns are given a beautiful blue or pink cap and carried to the nursery. There, they wail and weep like an orchestra’s cacophonous warm-up. Emotionless nurses stand by with clear valves to collect their sour and sweet tears in glowing hues of green, red, yellow, and orange. Don’t worry. It isn’t inhumane because these are sugar babies we’re talking about, and their tears are delicious. Try them when you want a drop of something seriously sweet and tangy. When the five pound bag is complete, it’ll be enough to make a grown man cry.